Finding Peace

I was in the Caribbean last week mainly for a business trip.

But, I did manage to go to my destination two days early with Stephen, my stepson and get in a day and 1/2 of fly fishing for bonefish in some of the most beautiful waters in the world.

It was a blast. Stephen had never hooked or landed a fish on a fly rod. Having a bonefish be his first taste of that magical connection was truly "one of those moments I will never forget ". 

We had a great guide, perfect weather, and were lucky enough to get on fish each day. I caught and landed three average 3-5 pound bonefish releasing each and actually hooked and played one of the largest bonefish I think I ever had on a line until he (or she) decided they had had enough and tore into the mangroves lining the strip of skinny water we were fishing and that was the end of that. 

We saw lemon sharks, a nurse shark over 9 feet long, the largest green turtle I have ever seen in the wild, and a myriad of birds and other aquatic species including one small blue crab who was not the least bit intimidated as we passed over his hiding place in less then a foot of sea water. 

I love to fly fish. I put away all other fishing gear over 20 years ago now and have only fished using a fly rod since that time. I am not particularly good but I am competent enough to catch trout, bonefish, bass, etc., as long as the fish are not too smart. And yes, I release every fish I catch if the fish is not seriously injured during the time it is on the line. Not because I won't eat fish, fish are one of my favorite dietary staples. I just cannot bring myself to kill something that has given me such a "gift". Even though the fish was not willingly seeking to make it a gift as such.

(Read on you and you will understand what that "gift" is for me).

I think in a recent blog I mentioned I was rereading a book I had read 20 years ago about fly fishing. I just finished it on this trip. The book is "Fly Fishing through the Midlife Crisis" by Howell Raines.

The book has an incredible amount of good information about fly fishing in practice but as you probably guess from its title it also has an incredible amount of philosophy, religion, and even spiritual themes contained within its pages.

It is one of my favorite books and given the copious amount of reading I do that is saying a lot. 

Rereading it after 20 years provided me an even deeper and more meaningful insight into my life and the appeal of fly fishing for myself and so many other modern day men than it had when I first picked it up in 1993 as I said about 20 years ago.

This is a passage typical of the writing and nature of Raines' book.

"As far as equipment goes we are living in the golden age of fly fishing. Where there used to be only a couple of hundred truly expert fly fishermen, there are now thousands who can match the best practitioners of the sport. Naturally as in any large group some are jerks. All are snobs when it comes to what they really think about other forms of fishing".

He goes on: 

"That is because of the aesthetic principle at the core of fly fishing..... Fly fishing is to fishing as ballet is to walking...It is interesting that many men after they have been through other kinds of fishing, usually forms that involve powerful boats, heavy rods, and brutally strong fish.

Perhaps it is because they are getting wiser and less hormonal. Or perhaps it is that as men get older, some of them develop holes in their souls, and they think this disciplined, beautiful, and unessential activity may close those holes"......

20 years ago that passage would not have made me put down the book and wipe a mist from my eyes, today it does. 

Regardless, I love fly fishing regardless of the fish being pursued and yes, in some way or form or fashion it calms me down, it clears my mind, and most importantly it mends my soul.

After the movie " A River Runs Through It " based on the Norman McLean novel, narrated by Robert Redford and with a younger Brad Pitt as one of its stars, fly fishing leaped in popularity for a while. I think it has leveled off since then but I have no statistics to back up that claim.

My roots and literary attachments to all things fly fishing run long and deep. I read "The Big Two Hearted River" by Hemingway in 1927 (I think or at least published around that time) as a freshman in college and was fascinated by Nick Adams, the central character in the story where Hemingway used fly fishing to illustrate the impotence of faith and the power of fear. 

McLean's book written 50 years later would use fly fishing as a metaphor for one's search in life for grace and faith.

I have read at least 50-75 other books written and published between those dates (1927-1957) about fly fishing  as well.

And I have read another 30 more more written since 1957. 

It is safe to say books about fly fishing represent a large genre in my reading compendium.

Whatever quality or insight fly fishing represents or brings out in each individual that becomes a devotee may be as varied as the number of fly patterns tied in an effort to match the hatch of a multitude of insects, bugs, roaches and other "fish food". 

For me, the answer is quite a simple one. I find "peace". 

Or better yet, "peace of mind". 

Not a permanent peace, but a temporary one that serves to suspend time and release my thoughts from my emotions and the onslaught of the pressures and travails and pain and uncertainty of day to day existence. For me at this place and time in my existence there is no better "gift".

I am already looking forward to that next time.

                                      The author at peace

Things That Made Me Smile This Week

The past week has not been one of my favorite seven days.

Some historian/minister somewhere, (I actually am so tired of this kind of crap that I hardly read the piece) now claims that Jesus Christ was a construction of the Roman Empire's imagination, invented to distract the Jews from violence against the Empire.

Then there was an article debunking King David of the Old Testament as a war monger conqueror who basically used force to combine Israel and Judah and that is why we have the modern Jewish state and the almost universal support by the Jewish people of Israel.

Then there where the endless articles and talk shows regurgitating the ongoing lies and posturing of Congress and the President as each side tried to make the other seem like the villain in the current fiscal crisis which frankly is simply the latest expression of the greed and ignorance of those we continue to elect to run the government.

I watched the entertainment industry press continue to condemn Miley Cyrus and are now all her "haters" for doing what in my opinion Cher, Madonna, Lady Gaga, hell even, Tina Turner did in their day, i.e. use sex to sell records. Miley just seemed to do it better. I mean a world wide number 1 song two weeks after shaking her butt and sticking her tongue out of the side of her mouth on an awards show designed to feature the outrageous.

And finally while rereading one of my favorite books "Fly Fishing through the Midlife Crisis" by author Howell Raines, I came across an old article from the early nineties that basically called Raines everything from a "liar" to an "egotist" to a "fraud". 

Plus Michigan lost to Penn State on Saturday. I mean how sad was that.

So, today, a Sunday, I decided to ignore all social media, all news outlets, all reporters, and all scholars, and other sundry and prolific pundits be they, sports commentator's acting like they know something the rest of us don't, be they comedians acting as political commentator's or be they political pundits who are so stupid as to even make bad comedians. 

Seriously, I ignored every freaking expert out there. Did not look at CNN or FOX or HBO or read a paper or pick up a new book exposing someone or something, or doing some form of revisionism. 

Instead I went for a long hike early in the morning, stopped and watched sea gulls fly "en masse" seeking scraps from happy looking tourists, watched two jack rabbits running like crazy across a field and drove a few hundred miles and just thought. 

It has been a while since I just thought. 

And I thought about things that made me happy, like how lucky I am to still be alive and pretty healthy for my age. And that made me smile.

I smiled at the thought of the young female alligator Stephen caught out of pond six on the site and we put on a sanctuary earlier this week. 

Not many people would  "save" an alligator but to me she is one of God's creatures, as surely as we are. That made me smile.

And I smiled and remembered I used to like "Hannah Montana" and I that I still like Miley Cyrus and her new music, as much (or more) then I used to like Cher and Madonna, etc.

I smiled with the realization that I lost all respect for all politicians decades ago, which probably does not say very much positive about me. But it made me smile anyway.

I remembered what I think was Mark Twain's or maybe Will Roger's famous comment that "Congress was the only true criminal class in America". 

True then, truer now. And I smiled.

And I smiled even more when I thought about how for 2,000 years plus, countless individuals and institutions have tried to tear down Jesus Christ and he just emerges stronger and purer and a more remarkable proof of God's existence than we as humans can or will ever grasp while we are on this earth.

And I thought, regardless of Howell Raines perfections or imperfections Chapter 9 "The Black Dog" in his book on "Fly Fishing Through the Midlife Crisis" just may be the most honest and lucid explanation of why and how men fear and react to age, mortality, and death ever written. 

And for that alone Howell Raines deserves our gratitude and appreciation. And again thinking of that single chapter made me smile. 

I smiled when I recalled that even in the Old Testament no one ever said King David was perfect, he was a human being. 

That is the whole point of Jesus, we are so flawed without him we really have no chance of something better after this life ends. That really made me smile.

And I thought if you want to buy in to the views of all the pseudo-genius's, who think they have all the answers of how the universe began (it just appeared out of nothing aka "The Big Bang"), what the universe is comprised of ( strings, particles, energy, or something), etc., that do not believe anything exists for us after this life ends, then there isn't anything to look forward to regardless. 

That made me smile and actually laugh out loud.

So, at the end of the day as I pulled my truck back into the parking lot and saw Lori in her wheelchair laughing and playing with one of the poodles despite the cancer demon she is fighting, I smiled yet again.

As I walked into the house my cell phone beeped and I looked down and saw a text from a friend who went to Penn State. That did not make me smile. 

Hey, nothing is 100%.

A GRAND JOURNEY

I wrote this update to a few of our team members the other day. It has received such positive feed back I thought I would share it on my blog.

Written on October 9, 2013

"I keep trying to remember most people (including investors and some on our own team) do not have any real grasp of the size and scope of what we at GBT are now within weeks of bringing to the world.

We have had the biology and the water quality systems figured out since 2005. 

Heck, we knew in 1999 we could grow shrimp (and other fin fish species) bigger, faster, more efficiently, sustainably, and in a  natural fashion, better than anyone or any system in the world could even imagine.

The real challenge (for me at least) had always been conceiving, designing, and then actually building the integrated multitude of mechanical aspects essential to developing an industrial scale, commercial sustainable aquaculture operation, of the size and scope we envisioned. 

I was never (and still am not) interested in just developing a boutique system that could be sustainable and make a few million dollars in profit. 

I wanted to build something green, environmentally friendly, natural, bio-secure, and that produced "healthy protein" on a grand scale. 

I wanted to develop a "game changer" to use an archaic phrase.

I won't bore everyone again with the multitude of "technological break through's " we have made since 1999 and especially since 2011. (I also won't remind you I thought I could do it in 7 years or less).

But I think the following words from one of the engineers at Arizon who are currently producing one of the largest dome structures in the world for GBT's first production module, coupled with two pictures might just help everyone get a small grasp of the scale of what we are about to put into production. 

One of the engineers from Arizon wrote an e-mail message to Jim Salmon today. The following is an excerpt from that E-mail. 

"We have been making good progress over the past 4 days.  The AHU’s are on schedule for shipping October 21, and likely one will ship the Friday before.  

The fabric is also still on schedule.  Sections 2 & 3 are 100% welded up, Section 1 is 80% and Section 8 is 70%.  I know, we are making them out of order.  It is all part of the grand plan".

I love the words " the grand plan" because that is what this journey has been, a convoluted torturous march toward a grand plan. 

Each dome (module) has eight ponds in each GBT structure with each pond holding about 1 million gallons of water in each pond. (Yes, that is 8 million gallons of water under a single module and each module is over 1,000 feet long and 155 feet wide and 35 feet or so tall).

The domes are held up by forced air creating a positive pressure that makes them both incredibly strong and adds to bio-security. There are two air handling (AHU's) units per dome and the technology that goes into them is amazing.

No, nothing about this has been easy but when you seek to make a paradigm shift in any technology or production process I guess it is not supposed to be easy. 

I also guess that is why so many of those who continue to claim they can do what we are doing or that they indeed thought of all of this themselves, have failed so miserably. 

They never could understand, let alone imagine the vision I had back at Gulfport, Mississippi in 1999. 

Enjoy the attached pics of the  AHU's.

In a few weeks we will be taking pictures of the actual facility in operational mode. It will have been a long torturous and yes painful journey, but definitely a "grand one".

(please excuse any typos or misspellings, I am just a tad tired tonight). "

I'M BACK

It has been a while. I took a hiatus.

Writing had gotten almost too draining.

I was starting to relive every agonizing minute of every agonizing day.

That said, writing this blog has always been more about a catharsis for myself then about having readers or followers. That said, I appreciate the thousands of you and yes it is thousands of you that actually take the time to read much of my drivel.

OK, so here is a quick catch up. Lori continues to battle her cancer. She is currently being treated at Baylor Cancer Center by Dr. Joyce O'Shauyhnessy and we love her.

Lori is on a chemo cocktail of avastin, taxol, and cisplatin (spellings are probably all wrong but what the hell, Lori is alive and this is month 33 since she contracted tnbc.) They and I mean by "they" every doctor except Dr. Joyce gave her a few months at best. 

Lori is a fighter and she has a long way to go. Current plan is to put out fire of metastatic activity , make a FANG vaccine and then look at stem cell research.

Keep praying. Prayer really works.

Shrimp aquaculture project is going beyond well. I don't even like to talk about it anymore because it is going to shock the world in 2014. One thing I must take a bit of pride in. One of our very special (and bright) international partners wanted to do a  taste test as he felt our shrimp might be good enough to be "sushi grade". 

I was opposed to the idea. I mean hell, I know we can sell our shrimp at top dollar now, why lower expectations.

My son, Stephen, a trained chef insisted I was wrong and he arranged and set up a taste test of GBT shrimp in Port Isabel two weeks ago with a leading and I mean a world renown leading Japanese chef flying in from Japan to take stock of what our flavor profile really is with GBT shrimp.

I stayed away too nervous to be involved. Stephen and the team at PI handled everything.

I think the pictures and the signed certificate say it all.

So, moral of story. Have faith in your product and always trust your # 1 son.

On fun notes I just finished reading "Sea Monsters on Medieval and Renaissance Maps" which was great fun. 

Just read "Medieval Dogs" by Kathleen Walker-Meikle , which frankly was "underwhelming".

Rereading "Sex, Death, and Fly Fishing" which always perks me up. Author is John Gierach and if you fish and have not read his works you are truly, sadly, lacking a major uplifting force in your life.

Going to reread Howell Raines "Fly Fishing through Midlife Crisis" soon. ( it is a book that helps keep me sane). 

Also starting to get my fly rods out, as it is about time for a bone fish fishing trip soon, somewhere.

I am back. It feels good.