Hectic

It has been over a week since I have had time to even consider an update on this blog.

Last week I spent nearly every day dealing with doctors and Lori's treatment options and trying to figure out a "go forward" strategy that would give Lori the best chance to beat the odds.

That accomplished we got her in a new clinical trial at NIH and are now waiting for the first test results from this new chemotherapy which should be coming around December 12. So for all of you who are praying for her, please keep the prayers coming. They really do work. 

I also had several meetings with individuals who are interested in investing in our company to help us raise the capital we need to expand our aquaculture production here in Texas.

Some savvy people are starting to "get it" and are beginning to realize how big this opportunity could be.

I also had occasion over the past two weeks to be reminded that some people still have not read my book, "Undercover", available now as an e-book on Amazon.com.

It is very inexpensive as an e-book and if you are curious about my evolution and my passions for animals and the environment it is worth a read. I have been told by many readers that they found the book "interesting and entertaining". That is very cool. 

I had a great Thanksgiving actually one of my favorite in a long time. We had dinner at Hunter's Inn in Potomac, Md., where my son Stephen, is the Executive Chef. 

I am back in Texas now working on the drafting of our initial set of construction documents that we need to have ready to put out for contractor bids early in the New Year.

I am looking forward to the "Hobbit", the new movie from Peter  Jackson that is based on the story of how Bilbo found the "one ring". 

I do not know of any movie being adapted from a literary work that was as satisfying and as complete as the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The "Hobbit" should be great fun. 

I also am curious about the new Tom Cruise movie "Jack Reacher". The Jack Reacher books by author Lee Child are one of my favorite book series. I am cautiously optimistic that Cruise can pull off the character but am also ready for disappointment.  

Hopefully, the product of a movie based on the Lee Child books will not approach the desultory designation,  as has every movie attempt to take the Dirk Pitt series by Clive Cussler to the big screen. Those movies have been horrific even the last one "Safari" with an "A" list cast. 

Movies do not stimulate one's brain like a good book , but they can offer a few hours of pleasant escapism and given the hectic nature and stress of the past two years I will take any short "recess" from the real world that I can get. 

Thought for the day from author Toni Morrison, "Wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down".  

Pay No Mind to the Demons

There is a current popular song playing on the radio now, that contains the following words, 

"Settle down, it will all become clear.

Don't pay no mind to the demons they fill you with fear"

After almost three weeks of being totally upset and at times giving in to the fear, the past 72 hours have helped things, "all become clear". 

Three weeks ago a new 6 x 6 mm lesion appeared in Lori's brain on right motor cortex. 

Instant panic set in. First the experimental drugs "iniparib and irinotecan" were no longer working.

Second, some of her doctor's were of the opinion this new lesion was in such a dangerous part of her brain that she could wake up paralyzed or worse any morning. 

Third, there was fear that the nodules in her lungs were positively metastatic activity.

There seemed to be no good way to go forward and certainly none that offered any real hope. 

But my Grandmother Wills always told me that " God never gives us more than we can handle", and with the help of God and some very special doctors and friends, things are a lot brighter at this moment..

John Aquilino starting searching every clinical trial offered by any drug company in the world that might offer a path forward for Lori. 

Many of her doctors did the same. Over the past two years we have developed a team of contacts of oncologists and radiologists and neurologists, acupuncturists, nutritionists and more from Mayo Clinic( Arizona) , John Hopkins (Maryland), Suburban Hospital (Maryland) , MD Anderson (Texas), Georgetown (DC), Suburban Hospital (Maryland) and Hadassah Hospital (Israel) all acutely and completely familiar with the evolution of Lori's cancer, current condition, and every report from every MRI. CT, Pet scan, blood work, etc. 

We reached out to virtually everyone.

Here's the update on Lori as of this evening.

Yesterday we were informed that Lori was admitted into a very promising clinical trial at NIH under the supervision of Dr. Susan Bates.

Even though her current brain lesion on the right motor cortex has not appeared to grown have in the past three weeks, (thank the Lord) the NIH radiologist was able to "stretch" the MRI to get a measurement that allowed the lesion to meet the clinical trial requirements by the drug company.

It appears Lori has another very special doctor in the person of Dr. Bates.

The Bates' trial at NIH is using an investigational drug GRN1005 ( basically a peptide linked drug with three molecules of the chemotherapy agent paclitaxel) to see if it can penetrate the blood brain membrane and carry the paclitaxil to the lesion in the brain and hopefully, stop the lesions growth, possibly shrunk the existing lesion and also prevent new lesions.

Over the next few weeks, Lori will be carefully monitored by NIH and independently by Dr. Collins a neurologist we consulted with extensively on 11/8 with at Georgetown. MRI's will be taken after a few weeks and if there is any indication of any growth that threatens Lori's brain functions we will pull her from the trial and take the offending lesion out using cyber knife, a stereo tactic option.

And on a very positive note, the CT scan taken yesterday at NIH came back with the report's findings stating the nodules in Lori's lungs "do not" appear to be indicative of metastatic disease. As we had hoped though they are serious due to Lori's compromised immune system, they "do not" appear to be cancer which means the "tnbc" so far has only spread to the brain. 

Lori and I have continued to have lengthy ongoing discussions with Dr. Peter Cohen at Mayo in Arizona. 

Dr. Cohen and Dr. Gendler at the Mayo Clinic in Arizona, continue to be champions for Lori both seeking behind the scenes information about various results from ongoing clinical trials that may offer Lori a course of treatment and by searching for new avenues for Lori to seek a treatment that could offer some hope of a long term remission/or even cure.

Three days ago Dr. Cohen sent us a very promising (almost too good to believe) piece of information. 

There is an ongoing clinical trial in Dallas, Texas at the Mary Crowly Cancer Research Center, which is having very positive results from a Liposomal MUC1 cancer vaccine for patients previously treated with solid tumors in stage 3 0r 4 . 

This is a very similar vaccine to the one we were pursing in Israel. 

It basically takes tissue from the patients own immune system combines it with MUC1 antigen and injects it into the patient. The theory being that by using the patients own immune system the vaccine can effectively get to the cancer cells everywhere in the body, (including the brain) and the vaccine then stops the cancer from metastasizing. In short, almost an actual cure. 

This seems to be the most exciting development of all for all metastatic cancer patients. Dr Peter Cohen is very positive that this holds real hope for Lori.

The drug company is Oncothyreon Inc., and they have put tens of millions into this vaccine. They are very optimistic this is a "game-changer".

So, we have to get Lori's brain lesions (tumors) stabilized for about three months. The MUC1 vaccine does not seem to be able to stop the growth of pre-existing tumors. 

It appears the Bates trial will be administered every three weeks so this will allow Lori to come to SPI at least two weeks at a time and fly back to DC for the 18 weeks of 6 treatment cycles (every cycle = 3 weeks). 

Here on SPI the sunshine and warmth can help her immune system recover and strengthen. 

Maryland's cold and wet winters are simply too debilitating for her to endure without a break. 

Lori is currently slated to start the first treatment on 11/21 or next Wednesday.

If we can get Lori's lesions in her brain stabilized we will then seek admittance into the MUC1 trail in Dallas. 

If that trial is closed at that time we will simply have to cross that bridge at that time. It should be easier to get a PLUS 1 designation or some other avenue of access to the MUC1 vaccine here in the USA than in Israel. 

For the moment however, she is in a trial that holds promise, her treatment starts next week, her current lesion has not appeared to have grown the past three  weeks and the nodules in her lungs do "NOT" appear to be cancer and a vaccine that may actually be able to buy her years of quality of life is actually in trials in Dallas. 

Lori is in great spirits for the first time since she got news of the brain lesions on November 2, 2011 and she was told she had no more than 3-6 months left to live. She is driving, grooming dogs, seeing movies, and thinking about Thanksgiving, all normal and quality of life activities for her. 

Thanksgiving will be at Hunter's Inn in Potomac, Maryland,  with her sister, Annie, and nephew, Kenny, and their family and where Stephen will be cooking. And we are deciding on whether to do Christmas in North Potomac or here on SPI. 

That is all I can write for now. Going to go run a few miles on SPI. I will be flying back to Maryland next Tuesday the 20th. 

I have written this before in this blog but today it bears repeating. There is a line from the movie Kung Fu Panda that goes something like this (I am paraphrasing).

"The past is gone we no longer possess it, and the future is unknown so we do not hold it, but the present, the present is a "gift" and that is why we call it the "present". 

It is indeed an early Christmas present to have Lori in this new trial and doing so well at this moment.

I may be beat a bit physically but I am upbeat emotionally and that makes the "present" even a more special gift. 

I Walked the Beach Today

I walked the beach today.

I got back to Texas late last night after a week home in Maryland.

After a few hours briefing to get an update on where we are on the production system for the shrimp operation I suddenly realized I needed a different perspective.

After a week of hospital rooms and doctors visits then straight back into work mode I felt I was losing my perspective. Actually I felt I was losing my hold on what is real.

So I took a long, long, walk, almost 2 hours.

It was about 73 degrees cloudy and windy.

I loved the smell of salt and sand. 

Walking the beach brought back a lot of contradictory feelings.

The waves coming in, as they always do, gave me the feeling of endlessness. I guess this is as close as I will ever get to conceptualizing eternity.

The surf beating against the shore, the vastness of the Gulf as you look out over an indistinct horizon, made me feel (as it always does) insignificant. But, I finally, for the first time in my life, I was OK with it.

For me, the ocean evokes the vastness of creation, but the sublimity of that realization is tempered by the comfort of my self awareness.

I was captivated by the bounty and diversity of the sea birds. Plovers, gulls, pelicans, pipers, and more caught up in their lives and struggles and the joy of their own existence.

I was once again humbled by the richness and complexity of life on this earth. 

And for the millionth time I felt a flash of anger at the insensitivity and lack of empathy by the majority of humans who simply are too stupid or too cruel to recognize the value of life other than their own. Who do not see that those individuals who represent other species value their lives and their existence as deeply and intensely was we do our own.

I no longer believe or hope that people will change. I now simply hope that when that moment comes for each individual to know their time is over on this earth they have an epiphany of compassion and experience a painful moment of awareness followed by anguish and remorse for their cruelty.

But as I walked the beach I could not even sustain that negative feeling.

The ocean does heal.

I guess that is why I want to get Lori here again.

In the next few days we will know what current treatment options through several different clinical trials will offer the best choice to battle Lori's cancer. 

We may end up at NIH, or at a Dallas hospital, or even back at Georgetown Hospital depending on what the next battery of MRI's and CT's show.  

What we do know is she has a new lesion in her brain that is in a very dangerous location. 

We need a carrier mechanism that can get an effective chemo through the blood brain membrane and that will shrink the lesion. 

Failing that we need to take the lesion out stereo-tactically. 

Then we have to find a chemo that has some chance of stopping this demon from returning.

Lori is in good spirits, eating, driving, and enjoying life.

She is truly, (no cliche), my hero. 

We have made a very serious offer for a permanent site to expand our production capability for the shrimp farm. We should hear something in the next ten days. We are cautiously optimistic but we have two back up sites on stand by should this opportunity not materialize.  

I think 2013 will be the break out year for the company. 

A dear friend sent me this quote form Winston Churchill last week. 

Those of you that read this blog regularly know Churchill is one of my heroes. 

I was not familiar with this quote before. I will keep it in my repertoire from here on.

 "Success is not final
   Failure is not fatal
   It is the courage to continue
   That counts"

How true is that ?

Thoughts 48 hours before the Polls Close

I really am a bad American.

I simply cannot get excited about the election on Tuesday.

I just want it over.

I am not enamored by either candidate but I am not repulsed by them either.

(I was repulsed by John McCain in 2008).

Obama does not seem like a bad person. A bit aloof and disconnected from most Americans but clearly a man who loves his family and seems to want to do the right thing. I am just doubtful that he has enough "pragmatism" to keep America vibrant and not allow the country to regress. He has not "wowed" me the past four years.

Ditto Mitt Romney. Despite the all of the nasty accusations I just don't buy Romney as a lying, "say anything to get elected " guy. 

That said, I also think he just does not "get it". He has no clue as to who is America today and what bothers us (and scares us) and more to the point "what we want to see in our President".

Still, all of the characterizations of both men have been far to simplistic. 

But for me it really doesn't matter. Whether Obama remains or Romney gets a shot, they both will be facing a fiscal mess that they have little chance of controlling let alone fixing. They will be facing an American that is changing daily before their eyes.

Sometimes it seems to me the Democrats have the right ideas, health care for all, women's rights, the importance of stem cell research,  a cleaner environment, etc., but they simply have no idea how to pay for all of these very important and necessary ideals. 

The Republicans seem to have a better grasp of the idea that you can't spend what you don't have, a concept clearly foreign to the Democrats, but their approach to the more humanitarian issues facing America are too cold blooded for me to embrace. 

I have not totally embraced cynicism as a world view but with an eye to American politics I must confess I hold a cynic's view. A cynic is "a person who thinks that people are motivated purely by self-interest rather than acting for honorable or selfless reasons".

If you replace the word " people" with "politician" you have pretty much articulated my thinking on politics.

So, while I will watch the election Tuesday night it will be largely because I have several bets with some friends as to which man wins which battleground state. 

I will also make a prediction. I think President Obama will be reelected. 

You know why? 

When I watched the last night of the Republican convention and Romney and Ryan and their families and friends were on the podium waving at the crowd, I felt like I was watching a rerun of the old Donna Reed show on television. The show ran from 1958-1966 and was a very popular staple of Americans evening viewing.

That was America at a point and time but that point and time is long gone. I am not convinced the Republicans get that. More to the point sometimes you feel they want to go back to that.

Going back is not an option. 

At the end of the Democratic convention with Obama and his family and Biden and his family I felt that I was at the very least, watching a rerun of "Glee". They may not get what Americans want or even need but they at the very least understand what it means these days to be an "American". 

It was interesting to hear both Obama and Romney at times during the campaign talk about the struggles their grandmothers or mothers made to achieve the American dream. They both had inspiring stories of the efforts and the difficulty and even suffering they underwent so that their kids could live a better life and grow up with the American dream not searching for it.

Well, I have never been a welfare recipient, I grew up poor, I do not have a government job, I pay a lot of taxes and guess what, I don't want my grandmother or my mother or my son or anyone's daughter or son to have to struggle that hard, to be middle class in America.

This country in 2012 should be and I believe is better than that.

I think the next President, whomever he may be, must understand that he needs to make sure America stays better than that. 

I know all Americans want that.