Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Halloween 2012


I do love Halloween.

I have watched "Frankenstein" today starring Boris Karloff. I also watched the "White Zombie", and "Hocus Pocus" (Bette Midler), and am currently watching "The Raven" with John Cusack. 

I have listened to my CD from WETA in DC called "Fright Night" which has 12 of the best classical macabre compositions in history.

I still think "Thriller" is the best music video of all time. I have listened to that about 5 times today.

Just learned today Lori has been accepted into a very promising clinical trial at NIH. She has to have 28 days to clear her former "chemo" but "Thank the Lord " (and I mean that literally) we have  a new treatment protocol for her.

Here is a great picture of Lori from Halloween 2009.



John Wayne said that "courage was about saddling up and riding even though you were afraid". Words to live by.

The runt was out tonight to feed. Given the fact she is a runt and in the normal evolution of things she would already be dead, she is doing pretty well.


She is still very little.

I bought a huge bag of M&M's for potential "Trick or Treaters". None have showed. I have eaten five bags of M&M's so far tonight. How sad is that?

I am tired but do not want to go to bed tonight. 

I am reminded of a statement by Charles De Lint, "You can't stand up to the night until you understand what's hiding in the shadows".

Kind of appropriate for this night , don't you think?

Happy Halloween.








Monday, October 29, 2012

Thoughts on a Monday Evening



It is Monday night, October 29, and my brain is working over time with an eclectic array of thoughts.


Hurricane Sandy really was almost as bad as the prognosticators predicted and may get a lot worse as the next 24 hours unfold.

Nature really does not see humans as a dominant species.

That is probably a good thing.

Even though I have always known that drug companies have no soul it is hard to face the reality that clinical trials are all about getting a new and "profitable" drug to the market and have nothing to do with saving the human guinea pigs that make that possible.

Facing some tough decisions on what is best for Lori as we look at several different options to deal with the devastating news from last Thursday.

Not enough information yet to make a final choice. The process  of trying to save her life is like running through mud, pursued by the living dead, thinking its a dream only to wake up each morning and realize it is real. No way to put any positive spin on it.

One thing I have learned is that when doctors start talking to you about your "faith" based beliefs, they have already given up on you. 

Another thing I have learned. You have heard forever doctors make the statement, " We are not Gods". Well, they are not. And more to the point they are not even that special as human beings.

They bring all the biases, flaws, and idiosyncrasies to the table as we all do.

A good friend of mine once pointed out the fact to me that "one-half of all doctors finish in the lower half of their class". Sobering.

We are closing in on a site for the expansion and full production farm here in Texas.

It is kind of bittersweet. I always make money and this project is going to literally print money. 

If Lori is not here here to spend her portion it will not seem right. She has endured and put up with my obsession with this project for so long. 

I like pelicans. It hit me today as I was walking out of Pier 19 on SPI and saw a group of them resting. They are so cool. I have no idea how anyone can be so arrogant or ignorant to think the multitude of life forms on this planet  "just happened". Give me a frigging break. 


I am more tired these days but not sure if it is emotionally caused or just, well. just what it it is.

As you get older it is hard to have a passion yet it is having a passion that makes life worth living. Kind of a paradox.











Thursday, October 25, 2012

Bad Day at Black Rock


When I was a kid I watched a a movie that made an impression on me for life.

It was made in 1955, but I probably did not watch it until around 1963.

It starred Spencer Tracy, Ernest Borgnine Robert Ryan, Anne Francais, Walter Brennan, Dean Jagger, and a host of stars.

It was directed by John Sturges.

It was called "Bad Day at Black Rock".

The plot was fascinating. 


The time is 1945, just after the end of World War II. The great railroad train Streamliner stops at the town of Black Rock Arizona. The train discharges a single passenger with only one arm named John J. Macreedy.The conductor comments that this is the first time in four years that the train has stopped there. Macreedy replies that he is only staying for one day, and the conductor comments that "in a place like this a day can be a lifetime." The train departs. Macreedy is confronted by the stationmaster who complains that he had not been informed that the Streamliner was stopping, to which Macreedy replies "Maybe they didn't think it was important." Macreedy asks the stationmaster if he can get a cab to Adobe Flat. The stationmaster replies "no cab." Macreedy then asks if the hotel is open, and the stationmaster nods. Macreedy walks into town. When the townsfolk learn that Macreedy wants to visit nearby Adobe Flat, they react with extreme suspicion and hostility. Pete Wirth, the hotel keeper, tries using a bogus excuse about war restrictions to deny renting a room even though it is obvious the hotel has vacancies. After persistence, Macreedy rents a room, only to be harassed by a cowboy named Hector for no apparent reason. Macreedy's attempts to rent a car create further hostility, prompting another local, Reno Smith, to have a private detective he knows in Los Angeles check out Macreedy's background. Macreedy then visits the sheriff's office only to find that the sheriff, Tim Horn, is an ineffectual drunken sot. Macreedy mentions that he is trying to locate a farmer named Kumoko at Adobe Flat and Horn becomes as hostile as the rest of town. Smith then accosts Macreedy feigning friendliness. Macreedy asks about Kumoko, and Smith tells him that Kumoko was sent to an internment camp after the start of the war. Pete's sister Liz drives up in her jeep and rents it to Macreedy, who drives off to Adobe Flat. Despite Liz's assurance that Macreedy will find nothing and Horn's feeble attempts to assert his authority, Smith, after hearing from the private eye that there are no records on Macreedy, orders another local, Coley Trimble, to get rid of Macreedy, despite protests from Pete and the town doctor, Doc Velie. At Adobe Flat, Macreedy finds only a burned out house, a deep well and wildflowers growing in the dirt. Returning to town, Trimble rams Macreedy off the road, then harasses him for being a "road hog." Macreedy decides to leave but is unable to get transportation to the next town and finds that the train will not come until the next morning. After enduring comments of racial bigotry relating to Kumoko, Macreedy is convinced that Smith is trying to kill him and attempts to telephone the police, but Pete will not help him. The doc offers Macreedy his hearse for escape, but it has been tampered with and will not start. After trying to telegraph the police, Macreedy visits the café, where Coley goads him with more bigoted slurs. Macreedy downs Coley with judo, then accuses Smith of murdering Kumoko; he is convinced that the wildflowers hide something buried at Adobe Flat. Macreedy reveals that Kumoko's son Joe died as a result of saving his life in Italy during the war, earning a medal that Macreedy is bringing to his father. Doc and Pete then confess that Kumoko leased Adobe Flat from Smith under false pretenses of available water. Kumoko, despite being cheated, dug the deep well, enraging Smith. Smith is further angered after being turned down by the Marines and after getting drunk, decides to "scare the Jap" along with Coley, Pete, Hector and Sam, the café owner. The incident gets out of hand and Kumoko is killed. Pete then calls Liz and asks her help in getting Macreedy out of town. Liz drives him out of town into the hands of Smith. Smith shoots Liz to silence her, then turns the rifle on Macreedy. Macreedy creates a Molotov cocktail with jeep gas, his necktie and a glass bottle. He hurls the bottle at Smith, catching him on fire. Returning to town with Smith, Macreedy finds the other four witnesses locked up in a cell. The next morning, the police escort the prisoners away as the Streamliner pulls in. Macreedy, after hearing pleas from Doc, gives him the medal awarded to Kumoko's son Joe. The conductor comments that the excitement must be the reason that the train stopped here for the first time in four years. Macreedy comments "second," then boards the train.


Today we learned that Lori's cancer has developed another
metastatic lesion in the brain,

It was surreal, scary, and intimidating.

It is a 6 x 6 mm lesion that has grown in 90 days.

Translation, she has a very aggressive cancer that is trying to kill her and the iniparib and irinotecan that worked the first time is no longer working.

We are already looking at other clinical trials.

This is a bad blow.

There is no good spin to put on it.

I am delaying my return to Texas for a few days.

Tomorrow we will be at John Hopkins.

We need a better treatment.

This week really was not great one.

I had an identity theft issue that caused me to change my cell phone number of 10 years.

My yellow lab, Elle, the last of my four labs is going down hill 
from cancer.

I am feeling a bit overwhelmed.

I will figure this out. 

I will not let Lori lose to this disease.

I will not have a "bad day at black rock".

Not without a fight.



Tuesday, October 16, 2012

A few brief thoughts on Politics and Politicians


Maybe it is because I am flying back to the DC area today or maybe it is because of the constant banal coverage of tonight's Presidential debates but for some curious reason I had an overwhelming desire to share a few of my favorite past quotes (in italics below with speakers in parentheses) concerning government, politicians, and in particularly American politics on my blog today before I head to the airport. Enjoy !!

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people. (Groucho Marx)

America is still a government of the naive, by the naive, and for the naive. He who knows not know this nor relish it, has no inkling of the nature of this country. ( Christopher Morley)

Anybody who wants the Presidency so much that he'll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office. (David Broder)

A politician is a person with whose politics you don't agree, if you agree with him he is a statesman. (David Lloyd George)

I once cynically said of a politician "He'll double cross that bridge when he comes to it". (Oscar Levant)

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. (H.L. Mencken)

Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs. (P.J.O'Rourke)

Politics is the diversion of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become more important in the eyes of more trivial men. 
(George Jean Nathan)

All politics is based on the indifference of the majority. (James Reston)

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary. (Robert Louis Stevenson) 

And my favorite for the day and for this election.

The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. (Will Rogers)

Enjoy the debates, I won't be watching. I can't handle any reality shows. 


Monday, October 8, 2012

100th Post

This is my 100th blog post.

When I started this blog site about 16 months ago I had no idea what I would write beyond the first posting, let alone the thought of the content of my 100th.

I would like to write something meaningful for the momentous (tongue in cheek) occasion, but truth is I have nothing that "over the top" to share.

So, I am going to do what I usually do and use this occasion and this blog to just serve as a cathartic exercise by shedding a few strong emotions through writing. And list a few truisms, at least truisms given my experiences. 

Cancer is evil. I have said it before but it is really evil. I mean like Dante's "ninth circle of hell" evil. I mean it belongs down there with Satan, Judas, Hitler, and crowd. 

It spares no one, destroys families, makes widows and orphans and is ubiquitous. 

And from a personal perspective, breast cancer comes from its own private place in that "ninth circle of hell".

Lori is beating the odds. Last November 2nd when she was diagnosed with metastatic brain cancer that had developed from her triple negative breast cancer she was told, we were told, she had less than six months.

So much for the experts. With an enormous amount of prayer, support of friends, some caring doctors, and some aggressive research she is currently in an immunotherapy trial of "iniparib and irinotecan" that has (for the moment) arrested the metastatic activity of her cancer.

The road ahead is going to be difficult but this evil needs to be fought and hopefully eradicated. I think Lori will be an atypical cancer patient and I pray and I believe she will be here for years to come.

It is a far more gruesome and hopeless tragedy for others.

I had no idea the havoc this disease was and is wreaking on millions of people yearly, those with the disease and those who love the ones with the disease. 

I think the 21st century, no, the next decade of this century should be dedicated to finding a cure. 

If John Kennedy could utter a challenge that would get us to the moon in less than ten years there is no reason the combined brilliance and efforts of the medical community cannot find a way to "kill" this "most evil of killers". 

I think true friends are a lot rarer than literature and history and experience make them out to be.

I think for such a smart man, Einstein was pretty foolish when it came to his beliefs about the existence of God.

I think over the next 18 months, one way or the other we will get this shrimp project into true levels of commercial production and I think a lot of folks are going to regret that they had a chance to help us make this happen and they did not.

I think the USA no longer has "leaders" anymore, I think we just have "politicians", and I am using that latter word in the full pejorative sense.

I think if after a lot of years on this earth if people (like me) with a decent IQ and broad global experience develop into curmudgeons, I think we have damn good reasons for being that way. 

I think it is an absolute crime, sin, and atrocity that in the United Sates of America we have to kill a single dog or cat because there is no decent home for them.

I think the major animal rights groups should be convicted of fraud and have their bullshit organizations dissolved. 

I think we should make it a privilege and not a right to have a pet and that a moratorium be placed on all commercial breeding and pet sales until demand outstrips supply so dramatically that when a stray dog or cat is found you have 500 individuals trying to qualify for the right to adopt that animal. 

I think it should be illegal for a shelter private or municipal to kill a healthy dog or cat. Seriously.

I think the reason Ernest Hemingway was and is my all time  favorite writer, is because of passages like this one from "A Farewell to Arms".

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It Kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of those you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry".

I think you can find a lot of beauty in life if you can endure the pain. 







Thursday, October 4, 2012

Watching the Oceans



I have been following a spate of recent articles whose topics concerned the world’s oceans and the species in them. One article pointed to a study that showed that nearly ½ of the Great Barrier Reef has been destroyed in the past two decades. That was a depressing piece of news. I had an opportunity to do a few brief dives on the Great Barrier Reef in the early nineties. It was right outside of Cairns, Australia. I remember vividly the clear water and the abundance of fish and other marine species I saw during my four  30 minute dives over a two day period.
Another recent article in the LA Times predicts that seafood species will be much smaller at future harvests but that the price for fish and other seafood will increase and increase substantially.
Basically it said, Seafood lovers will find their favorite “wild caught” menu items will diminish in size by nearly 25 percent over the next fifty years due to human impact on the oceans. 
The article appeared in the journal “Nature Climate Change”, ( see below)  described the drop in species size as ultimately having a huge negative impact on seafood supply and price due to climate change as well as over fishing and pollution……
The headline was pretty grim. 
Global warming will shrink fish sizes, seafood supply, says study….. By Tiffany Hsu
October 1, 2012, 11:19 a.m. | Los Angles Time – Business
It’s not just fish populations shrinking, according to a new study. Fish themselves will be much smaller within a few decades.
Global warming linked to greenhouse-gas emissions will cause the body weight of more than 600 types of marine fish to dwindle up to 24% between 2000 and 2050, according to a report in the journal Nature Climate Change.
Additional factors, such as over fishing and pollution, will only make matters worse.
Ultimately, the changes “are expected to have large implications for trophic interactions, ecosystem functions, fisheries and global protein supply,” according to the study.
Aquatic creatures grow depending on the temperature, oxygen and resources available in water, according to researchers. Fish will struggle to breathe and develop as oceans become warmer and less oxygenated.
Fewer, smaller fish could result in a supply crunch, leading to higher prices of seafood down the line.
The news has not been all bad however, in an October 3, 2012  article The New York Times reported that scientists found some encouragement in their process of creating a new way of monitoring the health of the oceans.
A two-year study broke with traditional methodology and based their approach on the tenet Global Blue Technologies’ close, non-profit partner – the International Foundation for the Conservation of Natural Resources (IFCNR) – has been preaching for better than two decades, namely that humans are “A Part of Nature, Not Apart from Nature.”  
You can see in the article below the study’s co-author is quoted, “People and Nature are not separate any more.” 
New ocean health index scores world 60 out of 100
The U.S. gets a 63. Criteria include economic benefits of coastal waters, along with aesthetics and environmental data. 
August 18, 2012 By Nika Soon-Shiong, Los Angeles Times 
After two years of collecting global data and developing models, scientists have a new, comprehensive way to measure the health of the world’s oceans that recognizes humans as a part of an integrated marine ecosystem.
The scientists’ report, published this week in the journal Nature, gave the oceans an overall score of 60 on a scale of 0 to 100. Among the world’s 133 countries with ocean coastlines, scores ranged from 36 to 86; the United States scored slightly above average at 63.
The ocean health index measures 10 ways that people benefit from the oceans, including food, jobs, ability to sequester carbon from the atmosphere and pure aesthetic value. It also gives credit for clean waters and biodiversity, among other things.
The index score assigned to a particular ocean region reflects the degree of sustainability for each of these factors.
To come up with scores for each country, a group of more than 30 scientists used data from dozens of sources. They got economic data from the United Nations, for instance, and satellite data on ocean temperature, sea ice extent and UV radiation from the U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. The 133 regions were defined as exclusive economic zones that extend from a country’s shore to a boundary 200 nautical miles out to sea.
One way to think about the ocean index score is to compare it to a hospital visit.
“When someone shows up at the ER, there are things people look at: breathing, heartbeat, pulse,” said study coauthor Larry Crowder, science director of the Center for Ocean Solutions at Stanford. The criteria picked for this study are like vital signs for the ocean, he said.
Previous ecosystem assessments focused on ways humans have damaged nature, such as by polluting waterways or driving species to the brink of extinction. For this index, researchers decided to award points for the ways that oceans could sustainably benefit people, even though such benefits might come at the expense of another goal.
For example, an increase in coastal livelihoods and economies might decrease a region’s score for clean waters but still boost the index score overall. By quantifying these trade-offs, the ocean health index can help countries do their own cost-benefit analyses depending on what they value most.
“The old model of trying to save nature by keeping people out simply won’t work,” said study coauthor Steven Katona, managing director of the Ocean Health Index for the nonprofit environmental group Conservation International based in Arlington, Va. “People and nature are not separate anymore.”
One of the biggest questions raised by the study is what to make of a score like 60.
To some, that may sound like an unsatisfactory grade, a D-minus. But project leader Benjamin Halpern, director of the Center for Marine Assessment and Planning at UC Santa Barbara, said that would be the wrong way to look at it.
“There is a lot of room for improvement, but still a lot of success,” he said. “It wasn’t a 10 or 15.”
The index score for the United States suggests, according to the Nature study, that the country could improve its ocean health by supporting tourism businesses that are environmentally friendly; encouraging sustainable fishing practices; and investing in aquaculture to provide jobs and economic benefits to coastal communities.
No matter how I read these and future articles the good news I take away from all of these trends is that our closed system bio-secure sustainable aquaculture system is something the world needs and needs now. 

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

OCTOBER


I love October. 

It is truly my favorite month of the year.

The World Series is played, football (college and the NFL) is in full swing, the temperatures in Maryland are crisp and a bit cooler. 

The leaves begin to burst out in the most amazing colors. 

For me October marks the true start of autumn. 

But the best part of October is that it is the month in which Halloween occurs. 

Halloween or "All Hallows Eve" as everyone probably knows is celebrated world wide.

Most scholars link Halloween's origins to the Celtic festival of "Samhain". This occurred on the last day of autumn and was the time for stock taking and preparation for the cold winter months just ahead. 

There are some who dispute "Samhain" as the "origin" of Halloween and point instead to the Roman festival "Parentalia" or " The Festival of the Dead". 

Halloween's popularity was also affected by the Christian Holy Days culminating around  "All Saints Day" which was November 5th.

I will probably write more on Halloween as it grows nearer this month but to me it is just a fun holiday. 

I love the trappings and traditions that accompany it. 

So today in celebration of Halloween and in combination with my fondness for classical music I am listing my ten favorite classical compositions that are (to me) the perfect music for Halloween. The composer is in parenthesis after the title. 

Oh, and to start to get everyone in the spirit of Halloween, here is a picture of Ellie in her Halloween costume at a Halloween party a few years ago. 



10) "Danse Macabre" (Saint-Saens)

9) "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" (Dukas)

8) "Toccata" from "D-minor Toccata and Fugue" (Bach) 

7) "Witch's Ride" from "Hansel and Gretel" (Humperdinck) 

6) "Ride of the Valkyries" from "Die Walkure" (Wagner) 

5) "Halloween" (Ives) 

4) "March to the Scaffold" from "Symphonie fantastique" (Berlioz) 

3) "Mars - The Bringer of War" from The "Planets" (Holst)

2) "Night on Bald Mountain" (Mussorgsky) 

and my all time favorite classical piece I associate with Halloween 

1) "Mephisto Waltz" (Liszt)

(and as I was writing this I have two honorable mentions 
"In the Hall of the Mountain King" (Grieg) and "Funeral March of a Marionette" (Gounod

Listen to any or all of these and see if Halloween does not appear in your thoughts.