End of a Week

Been quite a week. Tonight just trying to look back at what I will recall from this very hectic period.

Commercial stocking in the ponds has been going well.

We have four ponds stocked at commercial capacity and on track for January 2013 harvest.      

                                      

The batch handling retention system for replacement water is finally complete. This will be important as we expand production capacity. 

                                 

About 6 months ago I wrote of the great fishing trip Stephen, my son, and I had with a very close group of friends and investors here in the Gulf of Mexico.

Stephen caught the largest fish of his life on that trip. The memory of his catch is something I will cherish for ever. 

In a very classy act, Jim Millard of Iowa, a member of that memorable fishing trip, had taken the measurements and weights of Stephen's catch and over the past three months had a taxidermist do a mount.

He sent it Stephen a few days ago. "Thanks Jim". Here is Stephen with his mount. Again, how cool is that ?  

                                    

Our last labrador (of an original group of four), Ellie had some major surgery. She had to have a cancerous tumor removed from her spleen. She has been recuperating. 

Here Lily, our very intelligent African Grey Parrot is consoling her. Lily has always loved and been fascinated with Ellie. 

                                   

Ellie is not quite totally at ease with Lily's (very close) attention. 

Been a very demanding week.  October is just two days away.

A lot has to happen between now and Thanksgiving. 

It is nice to take a minute smile at the things that really matter.

The Emperor's New Clothes

I have been struggling with whether or not to write on the following subject for about two weeks.

After a lot of reading and thinking I have decided though it may not be the most elegant statement of my views on the subject, I need to just get it off my chest and if need be, refine my views at a later date.

The subject is "Has Science finally disproved the Existence of God ?" 

There have been a spate of recent news articles lately citing various scientific authorities that this is indeed the case.

The arguments (greatly condensed) go something like this.

There was no "prime cause" that started the universe. 

Against the argument called "Prime Mover or First Cause argument for the existence of God" they state" 

The universe just happened because the laws of physics dictate that things like the Big Bang "just happen". 

To the argument by design for the existence of God, they respond:

As far as the "exactness" of the design of our universe which we call "the fine tuning of the universe" by which had certain elements and laws of physics not been just perfect would have made life as we know it impossible, quantum physics and string theorists posit that our universe is just one of an infinite number of universe's some with conditions right for life, some not. 

They refute the "ethical argument for the existence of God by stating: 

To the question of "what is the purpose of all of this" the answer is that is not a legitimate question. There is no purpose, it just is. 

And finally in response to the small but disturbing little concern that while science claims it can explain everything that happened a millisecond after the Big Bang (or so current claims state), science still admits is has no explanation for that murky moment just before the Big Bang and that millisecond after the Big Bang the current response is:  

This is true now, but in time science will answer this as well, without the need to posit "God did it". 

The arguments go on but basically this is the gist of it.

My thoughts are as follows:

Aside from the inherent cruelty in such a world view that is a consequence of this type of reasoning, I mean what is all of this just a cosmic joke, we are born, hope, suffer, grieve, love, agonize, and die because that is a consequence of how the laws of physics just are? 

Aside from the incredible amount of hubris and self-delusion to think that they, as a small segment of a race of ants on a speck of dirt in the outer reaches of a vast creation somehow have "discovered how it all works and why it all happened." 

(Not to mention the overweening degree of patronizing that must occur for them to say (as a consequence of their "no God view") to those of us who still have faith in God that we are ignorant bronze age cretins simply afraid to die, and face the fact that our existence meant nothing, and oh, if you are by chance a Christian "Jesus was a liar." 

Aside from their ludicrous attempt to explain the creation of a single universe without referencing God, they have to postulate an "infinite number of universes" coming from the laws of physics to support their position. 

Aside from the fact, scientists have been claiming "they have it all figured out" in virtually every field from biology to astronomy to medicine since "oh I don't know, since Descartes perhaps" and they have had to abandon mountains of their previous assertions of fact.

Aside from these glaring and rational and obvious fatal flaws to their claims the most obvious chink in their armor is their own statement "the laws of physics just dictate this is the way things happen. "

Really, and who or what created those laws of physics, why do the laws of physics operate this way? 

They have just shifted the part of the question they cannot answer to another even larger question they cannot answer.

I am reminded of the short story by Hans Christian Andersen, " The Emperor's New Clothes." We all know the story. Two unscrupulous weavers convince a vain emperor, that they can make clothes so fine that only those rare individuals of refinement and taste and culture can even see them. 

The vain emperor then struts about undressed before the public with everyone marveling at the exquisiteness and beauty of the Emperor's finery until a small child shouts out "But he isn't wearing anything at all." 

Maybe a lot of folks are in awe of science's latest arguments to do away with God. 

Me, like that small child, "I'm not buying it!"

Disjointed

Sometimes when your plate is so full it is very hard to lay out a cogent train of thought.

I often turn to this blog late at night as sort of a catharsis. 

I was always a fan of Virginia Woolf and James Joyce and Proust and of course for me, the best example of "stream of consciousness" writing in the 20th century William Faulkner's " The Sound and the Fury".

I have always admired those artists who mastered that technique.

Sometimes the best way to convey one's thoughts is just to " go with it". 

So, in that vein, here are some thoughts disjointed as they may be tonight.

The shrimp project is finally getting exciting again. In the pilot module the post larvae are growing better than ever and are ready to stock next week. They are very robust and active and give me strong reason to think that once we are at commercial production levels we will improve upon our original grow out time estimates. 

The search for a permanent site on which to put a full farm is going well. We are closing in on one of three potential sites, any of which could be very good for our project. I hope to make a choice on the final site within three weeks.

The weather the past week has had torrential down pours. The facility has not been affected but a lot of standing water around the production module.

I finally committed to having south Texas be my base of operations for the next few years. So, that being my decision I bought a house. 

I think for south Texas it is very Key West looking and reminds me of a place Hemingway, one of my literary and real life heroes, might have lived. 

It sets on a beautiful canal on the bay of side of South Padre and I must say, it suits me.

While I love my house in Maryland and have no intention of selling it, I think for the next few years this will serve me well.

I am already feeding a family of baby possums out the back door near the boat dock so it feels right that I should reside here. 

Not a great picture but they are very shy. 

This is the runt (face toward the camera) I named Trinket. She comes to the food I put out every night about 8:30 PM within about 1 minute. How cute is that? 

I am very pleased with the financial team working on securing our finding to finance our production expansion. It is a very special blessing to work with people you trust, admire, and like. 

I am cautiously optimistic we have a great engineering team. The first month working with them has been very positive.

It is never easy to bring an emerging or even new technology into the mainstream and this effort has been fraught with a roller coaster of highs and lows. 

That said, we are currently on a high and this system will revolutionize aquaculture, there is no longer any doubt of that. 

We will succeed, it is no longer an "if", now is just a question of "when". 

I need to get Lori's "chemo" treatments moved so she can spend the fall and winter with me here on SPI. The cold in Maryland is just too damaging to her as she fights this evil bastard called cancer.

I am also working with some very wonderful friends of influence to get Lori access to the ImMucin vaccine in clinical trails in Israel. It has been frustrating to date but we will make this happen and happen soon.

Lori is too great a person to leave this world prematurely. 

(And cancer is just too damn evil to let it win. Not with her involved).

As I was speaking of Hemingway earlier in this rambling blog, I just remembered, recently I asked one of our financial partners (and a guy I really am growing to like as a friend) to read Hemingway's classic short story , "The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber". 

Do your self a favor, if you have never read it download it tomorrow and get to it.

If you have read it but like me it has been years, get it and re-read it. It has a lot of life's lessons and it is a brilliant story. 

I am glad college football is back but wish Michigan looked a little more formidable.

I am still working to much and stressing too much and I have not figured out how to have a life and de-stress, but I am thinking about how to do so with much more focus. 

I turned 60 recently and at 60 there are definitely more "leaves on the ground than on the tree". 

That said I am still looking to the next adventure, the next challenge, and the next success. 

First, I have help Lori beat this cancer demon. Everything else pales to that challenge. 

Ok, tonight the blog helped. I feel better just dumping everything out in a disjointed fashion.

Going to watch the end of "Big Jake" with John Wayne and go to bed. 

Tomorrow it starts all over again.

Stress and De-Stressing

I know it has been said that stress is life's way of letting you know you are alive.

That said, I get it. 

I know I am alive and I could really do with a little less stress.

There are a lot of different ways to relive stress.

Exercise works if you are up for it. I used to run 25-35 miles a week. These days I do more walking than running but I still get in a lot of miles weekly. 

It helps somewhat. 

So, does college football. I must admit I love watching college football. While I obviously support and live and die with the Michigan Wolverines, my alma mater, truth me told, I love watching just about every college team out there.

Yes, I know it is big business, etc., but the games are to me at least very exciting most of the time. 

 I also like pro football ( though not quite as much as I enjoy college football). 

The Washington Redskins have been my team for over 40 years.

They had a great opening game with their new young quarterback Robert Griffin the Third, or "RG3". Big win over the New Orleans Saints yesterday. 

This evening thinking about everything that we have to get done over the next few weeks for the business, finding a site, getting permits, finishing construction drawings, going through bid process, I started to stress out a bit too much.

While getting Lori's cancer under control and working to get her the ImMucin vaccine ASAP is obviously the greatest stress factor in my life and my number one priority, the world of bills and business does not let you take a time out, life and life's issues continue.

So, stressing out and despite everything I have to do, I decided to  turn on the TV and am watching the Baltimore Ravens play the Cincinnati Bengals in Baltimore. 

It is kind of a neat "deja vu" since I was just in Baltimore about 10 days ago.

And I have poured an adult beverage (or two) another great temporary stress reliever as long as you don't over do it. 

I prefer a simple splash of bourbon over ice. I like a small batch bourbon called "Woodford's Reserve". 

History tells us bourbon was the only distilled spirit invented in the USA. 

Supposedly John Wayne liked his bourbon which of course, makes it more than good enough for me as a drink. (If the Duke liked anything there is a good chance, I will love it).

Drinking alcohol always brings a few famous sayings to mind that make me smile and as a consequence seems to reduce my stress. 

WC Fields is always a good source for drinking quotes.

Here are three quotes of his that come to mind. 

"I only drink to make other people seem interesting". (Hemingway reputedly said something quite similar).

"I only drink in case of snakebite, but admittedly I carry a snake everywhere". 

"Many years ago a young woman put me on the path to drink and I regret to this day I never had the courtesy to thank her for it". 

And of course there is Churchill's famous response to being called drunk by an English woman of note. " I may indeed be drunk tonight Madam but you are ugly. And tomorrow I shall be sober but you shall still be ugly". 

And from Oscar Wilde: “After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.”

And finally from J.R.R. Tolkien: " Ho, Ho, Ho. To the bottle I go. To heal my heart and drown my woe, Rain may fall, and wind may blow, And many miles be still to go, But under a tall tree will I lie, And let the clouds go sailing by". 

I feel less stressed already.

Breathing Room

It has been a while since I updated my blog.

I have been busy.

I was in Washington, DC the past ten days going to hospitals and meeting daily with doctor's as we tried to get an accurate view on where Lori's cancer is at this point and time.

The very good news is that the clinical trail using the experimental chemo drugs (iniparib and irinotecan) is working dramatically for Lori. Her single brain lesion has shrunk from 7 centimeters to less than 3 centimeters after the first 9 weeks.  

Also, very significantly she has no new lesions or metastasises anywhere else, not in her brain nor in her body.

And more good (though kind of scary good) news. 

The nodules in her left lung, that both her original oncologist and her oncologists at MD Anderson wanted to biopsy stating emphatically that it was cancer, are not cancer. 

After a series of tests with a leading pulmonologist at Georgetown Hospital he confirmed that they are simple scar tissue nodules from when Lori had pneumonia either this year. 

The scary part is that Lori has spent the past three months believing her cancer had spread to her lungs. I guess we all have to remember that doctors no matter how impressive are people not God, and they can and in this case did make a mistake.

So, while the battle to stop the triple negative breast cancer from reoccurring again in other parts of her body is far from over, Lori has responded remarkably to this experimental treatment.

She now has (as do those of us trying desperately to find a way to "cure" her) some breathing room. 

My good friend john Aquilino and I remain convinced that Lori is an atypical patient and a fast responder to aggressive treatments against this cancer. 

It is our belief (after months of research) that a 1-2 treatment strategy using this experimental (iniparib & irinotecan) "chemo" treatment and then working with a highly experimental new vaccine, we have discovered, a vaccine that has been shown to bolster the patient's immune system halting the recurrence of the cancer, thus stopping the metastatic behavior, will not only give Lori years to live a quality life, but indeed in this combination may be the key to an actual cure for tens of thousands of women in Lori's situation.

In any case, Lori is battling and at this moment she is beating the odds. 

Part of it is undoubtedly the chemo and her body's ability to respond.

A larger part of it is simply and wonderfully, God.

Mary, John's fiancee, and a woman of deep faith has spent months knitting Lori a beautiful red shaw, as a wrap around, as Lori is always cold from the "chemo" these days. 

When she gave it to Lori a few days ago, she whispered to Lori that each stitch was completed with a prayer for Lori's recovery. 

Lori's new shaw has literally thousands of prayers in it's fabric all asking the Lord to save her. 

How powerful is that? 

Since the news of the metastatic progression of Lori's cancer has spread, literally, tens of thousands of people have been praying for Lori across America, most of whom she has never met, but are asking God to let her beat this cancer.

Given where she was on June 4th when we were told the cancer was too aggressive and she had less than a year at most, (maybe less) and where we are today, my belief has grown and  strengthened and I truly see God's hand at play. 

Lori's battle is far from over but she will be here this Christmas and with God's help when we secure the vaccine she will be here many Christmas' to come. 

(Post script : I will get back to posting far less important, thoughts, items, and updates on this blog shortly).