Christmas 2014

There is a scene at the end of Lord of the Rings, in the "Return of the King" where Frodo says in a monologue, "how do you pick up the threads of your life, how do you go on when in your heart you begin to understand, there is no going back. There are some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold."

2014 delivered that kind of mortal wound to me. 

I, for the first time understand the pain and the damage that Frodo felt when the "ring wraith" stabbed him with the unholy blade on the mountain "Round Top."

No words, no rationalization, no time, no scar, can heal that wound or dull that kind of pain.

So, I am not doing a traditional Christmas this year. No cards, no wine baskets, no popcorn tins, that was what Lori always did.

I tried in Maryland to get down her Christmas notebook and look at who she sent gifts to in our name, and frankly the tears blurred the pages. 

So, Stephen, Victoria, and I are going to Vegas. We are going some where Mom would never, ever, have gone and every time we think of her there, we will laugh. 

Again, she would never, ever, have gone to Vegas.

So, my Christmas present to everyone this year is simple, I am following or copying Charlie Brown in his Christmas special, and it comes from Luke 2:8-14. This is the greatest gift we were ever given. I will write again in the New Year. 

" And in the region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an Angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. And the Angel said to them, "be not afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy which will come to all the people; for to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a babe wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the Angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, glory to God in the highest and on earth peace among men with whom he is pleased."

True Christmas Miracles

Today was a day of true Christmas miracles. 

Today two disparate events occurred that confirmed yet again, my faith that God is real and heaven exists.

Norway (finally) after years of bull headed stupidity voted to stop the subsidy that supports the annual barbaric seal hunt in Canada. 

www.bangkokpost.com/news/world/449279/norway-scraps-controversial-seal-hunting subsidy

This should mark the the beginning of the end of that atrocious, barbaric, and cruel, annual hunt.

Then Pope Francis while comforting a young boy who had recently had his dog die, said be comforted, that the boy and all of us will see our pets in heaven. 

The actual quote by Pope Francis was, "all God's creatures will be welcome in Paradise. One day, we will see our animals again in the eternity of Christ. Paradise is open to all of God's creatures."

This echos what St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals said centuries ago. 

(This current Pope actually took his name from the patron saint of animals.) 

In 1990 Pope John Paul the 2nd said animals have souls, but few took notice.  

Today, Pope Francis' comments have been quoted and carried around the world.

To me, both of these events are true Christmas miracles and maybe they are heralds of a future when we human animals will recognize that non-human animals have souls, were created by the same God that created us, and are worthy of moral consideration and kindness, and frankly better treatment at every level from our species.

And I think Lori is already very busy saving animals on earth from her place in heaven above.

Smiles

This will be a short blog.  

As you know, for me and my family, 2014 has not been a good year.

So, it was very heartening that two very positive things have happened in the past few days.

First, after many significant and extremely diligent visits and examinations and questions and taste tests, GBT was able to announce this past week that we have signed our first overseas deal.

The following release was placed on the company web site this past Monday. (I think or maybe it was Sunday night.)

GBT Inks First International Project: Japan

GBT-International is honored to announce the signing of a joint-venture agreement to build a shrimp aquaculture facility using the GBT technology in Japan.  This will be the first GBT facility located outside of the United States. 

Contracts were signed after nearly a year of intense discussions with and in-person visits to GBT’s operations in Texas (that included multiple “tastings” of GBT shrimp) by an impressive range of the highest level of representatives of Japan’s cultural, financial and agricultural sectors.   Each approached the potential of bringing GBT to Japan with the same focus: safeguarding that nation’s strict standards of quality, safety, and excellence of seafood for the Japanese people. 

On every level, GBT shrimp received outstanding acclaim and approval.

The initial production “footprint” for Japanese operations is designed to increase according to an incremental and practical timetable.  The construction phase of the initial Japanese facility is targeted to break ground in the first quarter of 2015. 

The project will operate under the corporate auspices of GBT-International’s Japanese partners as GBT-Japan.  GBT-International will oversee construction, training, and technical management of the system.  GBT-Japan will provide on-site staffing and be responsible for day-to-day operations.  The chain of GBT bio-security will be maintained by the exclusive use of GBT-provided brood stock and PLs (Post Larvae) for stocking the bio-secure ponds.  Sustainable Sea Products International (SSPI) working with GBT-Japan will handle marketing and distribution.

This should mark a turning point and hopefully put an end to the past three years of countless questions such as, "do you really think your system will work?" or "are these projections and numbers real?"

The second very positive thing was that I came back to Maryland for a few days to attend to some things, both business and personal that I had simply let go unattended for far too long.

This is only the second time I have been back to our home in Maryland since the funeral and the last trip home (for Thanksgiving) my melancholy almost overwhelmed me.

Today, I went up take some carrots up to Charm and Annie, our two horses. I have not been able to even look at them the past year without tearing up.

Today, feeding Charm her carrots, remembering back over the almost 29 years I have had her, I smiled remembering how she looked as a six month old filly when I purchased her in Michigan. 

I smiled remembering how much Lori loved Charm and vice versa and the hours those two spent together back when we lived in Beallsville and brought Charm to Maryland from Michigan and virtually every week since that day Charm arrived. That is now over 18 years ago.

Arabian horses, if taken good care of, can live a long time. That said, Charm is approaching 29 (next March) and she is showing her age, but then again so am I.

But the point I am making is I smiled.

And that these two totally unrelated events were the first time in the past year that I have felt a true, good, and happy emotion inside of me, that let me actually smile.

                                      Charm and I today, December 10, 2014.

Thoughts on What is Important

I am in my new house and I have my cats and my dogs with me so do not think this blog is a whiny one.

Since the time I was 22 years old I have wanted to make a difference in the world. 

It started with my disgust and revulsion over how we treat our pets. 

We, a developed leading nation, kill millions of dogs and cats a year simply because we refuse to give them non-human rights and make it illegal to breed them without a guarantee of a home.

Then I looked at hunting. I hunted. As a kid growing up in Virginia, I was forced to hunt. It is disgusting, killing a life for fun, (and don't even try the argument I eat what I kill) is grotesque. 

Then I traveled the world. 

I went from a "dumb ass red neck" in Virginia to an educated world traveler, and as my late wife called me, became an "erudite redneck". 

I saw the global picture. 

I started out believing the guy who killed the elephant for 20 dollars for a tusk was the criminal. 

Then I learned the corporate CEO who flew in private planes while exploiting the world's resources were the real criminals and they were being aided and abetted by the governments of the world.

So, I set out 15 years ago to see if I could make a difference. 

Along the way I lost my wife and best friend to cancer. 

I have risked every nickel I owned to make my vision work. 

I have developed a persona of loneliness to be able to stay above the emotions and keep my eye on the end goal. 

Some one once said, "the only thing that allows evil to exist is for good men to do nothing."

GBT is going to break big and impressive in 2015. 

The real impact of what we have spent 15 years and 75 million US dollars developing will not be felt probably until long after I am dead.

It has been a few days over three months since Lori died and everyday I miss her. 

Our life together was not perfect, in fact it was a bit dysfunctional. 

But like the current popular song says, "my family is dysfunctional  but we have a good time killing each other." I miss Lori every day.

I am determined, even obsessed, to do something that can show the world that you can make a difference. 

In the next few weeks and months I am going to get more aggressive.

Has anyone even noticed that last week, India, has declared dolphins as "non-human persons" worthy of moral consideration?

Does anyone understand that the reason oil is $65 a barrel is because war is no longer the way to deal with thugs like Putin, but economy is?

Does anyone understand that without food and water, oil and gas, and beach houses are meaningless?

Does anyone get the fact that the world is no longer American -centric?

The world is totally inter connected which means inter-dependent. 

The insanity of "ISIS" and the foolishness of fundamentalism be it Christian or Islam or anything is that they are all dinosaurs. 

They are extinct and they just do not realize it. 

A few weeks ago not long after Lori died I received a vitriolic e-mail from the wife of a "very real friend."

In this e-mail she accused me of betraying my friend. 

Her e-mail was so hurtful, so filled with un-truths, so wrong at every level, I wanted to write back in kind. 

But I did not. 

I would like to think that finally after decades of being a total asshole, my wife has, finally from heaven above, looked down and is guiding me to do the right thing, not the "make me feel good thing" that I used to do.

So tonight I want to leave all of you with a great and warm story.

Charm, my Arabian mare I have had in my life for 29 years recently lost her buddy, a gelding of the last 4 years.

She was depressed, but through the wonderful kindness of Betty Davis, who takes care of Lori's and my two horses (Charm and Annie)  Charm found another friend, and she is no longer alone.

Maybe the secret to happiness or at least contentment is just that simple. 

Do not be alone. 

Charm and her new friend.