Mad As Hell

This is not going to be a positive blog so if you are looking for any kind of uplifting message stop reading now.

Remember the movie "Network" where the  main character a disillusioned news reporter shouted out the famous line, "I am mad as hell and I am not going to take it anymore". 

Well, that was a movie and that is a very bold and courageous line but the truth is being mad as hell does not lead to the ability to "not have to take it any more". 

Lori got her MRI back yesterday. Her progression, her metastatic activity in her brain is back with a vengeance. I won't bore you with the medical terminology but suffice to say, there is generalized progression of metastatic disease and it is wide spread. In short, the aggressive cancer is back. 

We had hoped, prayed, wished, imagined, we had a few more months before this would occur which might buy us time for an immunological trial to emerge. 

That does not look like it is going to happen. 

So, we are not giving up. 

We are not stopping our prayers for a miracle but we are in a very tough spot. The progression is starting to cause severe neurological symptoms, memory loss, speech disorder, lack of  muscle control, in short everything you would not wish on your worse enemy.

I have no brilliant insights, our options are becoming very limited. We are trying to develop a new experimental chemo cocktail but the truth is that as of today it has been 40 months since Lori developed "tnbc" and over 30 months since it went metastatic to her brain and liver and we are simply running out of option sand miracles. 

So having no positive way to use this blog for a cathartic purpose I am going to rant and list a few things I am "mad as hell about". I may still have to take them but that does not mean I am not mad as hell and if I can, I will do something about them, when and if I gain the ability to do so.

I am mad as hell about cancer. This disease sucks and with all of the millions even billions being poured into finding a cure, we damn well should be smart enough to find a cure or an answer or something.

I am tired of government, all governments. Even ours. 

There is no government, there are just a bunch of selfish assholes setting and enforcing  rules that make our lives more miserable while they protect and enrich themselves. 

Sorry to admit to this, but my grandfather was right, ultimately governments become the enemy of the citizenry and they judge, punish, tax, and coerce, us to obey. 

I am not stupid. I know that without order chaos reigns and that is not a good thing. 

That said, from Putin to Obama, from North Korea to Thailand, from congressmen or persons to police and law enforcement when you allow the "system" to hold dominion over your life at any level your basic slide from free person to slave has begun.

I do not agree with the violence of gangs and thugs, but oppression from the "elected"or the "anointed" is just as harmful and in many ways more pervasive.

I mentioned to a friend of mine I had finally become an anarchist.

That friend pointed out when I remarked about how I was feeling about government, that quite to the contrary I was becoming "Thomas Jefferson". 

And democracy or a republic can be as deadly or damaging as a dictatorship or a monarchy. I think it was John Stuart Mills who wrote, " the tyranny of the majority" is more terrifying than rebellion".  

I am sick of false friendships. You help people, you take chances, you make their lives better and they betray you. 

There is no wonder Judas in the Bible is reviled. 

There is nothing worse in the world than betrayal.  

True friendship is a rare and perhaps the most beautiful thing on earth. The trust you place in a friend should never be violated and if it is, then you should do everything in your power to fight back.

Almost 20 years ago I was betrayed by two friends who I trusted beyond reason and I have paid for it every day since. 

I was younger and dumber and I slunk away, embarrassed and hurt by the public beating I took, knowing the whole time I was innocent. And worse, I knew they knew I was innocent.

I will never let that happen again.

Real friends I will do anything for and more. 

Those that pretend to be my friends and then betray me I shall no longer resist or defend myself from, I will now try and destroy them.

When you take risks and make sacrifices to help someone the very least they can do is appreciate it and try and respect what you tried to do.

I am sick and mad and tired of bull shit in business. 

In the past three years I have tried to build a green, sustainable, profitable, and socially equitable, business in the USA. 

I have been screwed, lied too, over charged, and basically bullied. 

This shit ends now. I am serious. I am no longer going to look to the "system" to fix my problems. 

The system is too large a part of the problem.

Years ago in Detroit I listened to major automobile executives lecture about what was wrong with the US car industry. 

They mentioned lower overseas wages, much too tough emission standards, unfair tariff laws, too high of a minimum wage, the power of unions, and so forth and so on. 

At the end of that series of presentations a small East Indian from a major university stood up and was supposed to give a closing statement. He had a sheath of notes that looked like a 30 minute speech he had prepared.

He looked at the audience and put down his notes and said, "I have been asked to close the evening by giving a summation of what is wrong with the US automobile industry. It is simple, you make a "shit" product, you charge too much for it, and when people complain you use your lawyers to intimidate them and shut them up. Thank you very much". 

I am mad as hell about cruelty to animals. There is simply no room in the 21st century for people who do not appreciate that a goat, a chicken, a dog, a whale, a dolphin, and even a mouse, has sentience and suffers. 

I am sick of people that "love their dog" but can kill a deer for sport.

"Good Lord", Jeremy Bentham knew in the 18th and 19th century, the question of moral considerability was not "can an animal talk or reason, but can an animal suffer?" The answer is "yes" dumbasses. 

Frankly, deliberate cruelty to a sentient creature should bring with it a "death sentence" both for deontological and utilitarian grounds.

We lock up people who smoke marijuana and we give fines to people who burn baby kittens. How fucked up is that?

Finally, I am mad as hell about all the religious bullshit and debates and conflicts. 

I had a friend once tell me, "never let religion get in the way of God". Damn good advice.

People need only a few essentials, food, water, health care, shelter, and an equal opportunity to succeed. 

Governments clearly do not provide that. 

Non-Governmental organizations do not provide that. 

The press and the media do not provide that. 

Maybe in the end only a business or company or vocation can provide that, but if so that business must be ethical, it must strive to do more than be profitable, it must be socially equitable, it must be environmentally sustainable, it must be "ethical". 

Maybe "ethical capitalism" is not a dream, maybe it is the only hope for the future. 

A pipe dream, maybe, but I am mad as hell and I am trying to do something about this and everything I have discussed above. And maybe so should you.